How do you become a vulcan when reading email How do you become a vulcan when reading email Often i receive an e mail at work from a peer who is not the best at interaction verbally with others.Sthey have a yeller, and very of a jerk.What bothers me more is they also supervises a team, and processes that my direct reports are very interested in.Let's say they are output team and my team is the operations team. Earlier today i was venting to my boss about the content of one e mails and my boss said that i need to stop telling myself stories about the intent of the email.I'm not sure how to do that.I get a strong reaction to his, and others e mails. As an example, i will read something, see a bunch of capital letters in the centre and think he's"Screaming, but extra, i will say"Why is this guy deciding on a fight about something, when you should be putting our clientele first, looking at a statement that is very anti client and very pro production status quo.This is one i often deal with in interactions with sales partners as well.Their phone calls are short, more likely due to the nature of their fast paced work;But nevertheless, i often answer what i 'detect' is a brusque manner. How one can learn to detach myself from what i'm reading?I'm a very isfj person who tends to related to people on a psychological level.I get very tired at work when i react to occurrences like this, so i'd really know your advice. Posted by draccy to human contact(17 feedback total)5 users marked this as their favorite What your boss means is you need to learn to glean useful or relevant information from your coworker's email and disregard the parts that are irrelevant. Processed by nomyte at 5:36 PM on present cards 10, 2012 [4 internet explorer internet explorer bookmarks] 1.Always think the best of people always give them the main benefit of the doubt. 2.Always be professional no matter what whether someone is trying to pick a fight, to your be as helpful and professional as you always are.And according to(1), You assume that no fight picking is going on anyway. (Maybe he's just trying to know his guys and is frustrated, you never know, who likes you, it may anything, so just be expert. ) Sent in by harlequin at 5:38 PM on thinking about receiving 10, 2012 I am excited that somebody else remembers mystery men, but you and i may be the sole two, draccy. And i'd an"Just almost like"Posture.Read his mails and react to them"As though"He was being a advanced.Everthing else just wastes your time.Second guessing assholes is not a trap you wish to fall into. Submitted by sidhedevil at 5:44 PM on economy is shown 10, 2012 [9 ie solutions] That i used to copy and paste super aggro all caps bullshit bullying emails into excel and de capify Pandora Dangles Charms them, for how it is worth. Submitted by nevercalm at 5:50 (more jewelry here) PM on thinking about receiving 10, 2012 [2 faves] I'd personally say"Why is this guy selecting fight about something, when you should be putting our clientele first, I'm not clear if this is something you literally speak aloud after reading the email, but quit getting that. Your boss can't read your brain, if you don't say these things and vent to your boss it may be like the problem is solved.You will get a choice about what you say, and your boss will want to you didn't choose to vent to him. Greasemonkey even?Or you could attempt reading some sort of flamefest thing before work, when put next these emails will seem friendly. Publicized by yohko at 5:56 PM on economy is shown 10, 2012 [1 much loved] Try searching"Hierarchy of inference, ask yourself how much of what you're reacting to is based on what he generally is saying, and how much is really your predictions or inference. As an example, you don't know whether all caps means yelling to him.Deciding that he's picking a fight anf the husband doesn't care about putting the clients first are even higher rungs on the ladder of inference. The point is not that never drawn inferences.It's that it's helpful to be aware when you're doing it and able to climb back down the ladder rather than blaming folks for your assumptions. Posted by gender is the soul's sleep wear at 5:56 PM on the month of jan 10, 2012 [4 bookmarks] Endeavor to talk to him, in person if it is possible, at least until you get a better grasp of his communicating style.Walk up to his desk or get him on intercom, and talk to him politely and ask for clarification on a point or two(Don't argue just ask or update him to say that x has been completed, thankfully, please return to me if there are issues).It will make him feel you are following him, and you'll probably determine that he comes off badly but he means well.Will help you create a more personal connection, a lot like this. Sometimes people who come off badly are just so focused on doing their job well and turning out a good product which they forget that other people are on their side, bringing into play them, regarding gremlins trying to thwart them.They tend to value respect and efficiency as"Niceness, humanize you to ultimately him.If he does not need to tone down, you might take his style less myself, Shared by griselda at 6:00 PM on present cards 10, 2012 [2 faves] I was contacting some co workers just today about this, and they mentioned an effort to use 'mri' or 'most respectful interpretation'.One of them said that she just keeps imagining what scenarios might mitigate the jerk style of the e-Mail until she can respond with sympathy:She mentioned an email where she was finally imagining the guy acquainted with a sick baby and his wife out of town for the week but too busy to take the day off, so he was angry and frustrated and sending short emails while rushing to make contact with where the kid just threw up. So folks who wants get out of the habit of making assumptions/inferences about what he was thinking when he sent the email, try and put it back with a deliberate story to yourself about what he /could/ have been thinking, to get yourself feel better.